I am limiting myself to two main goals to really focus in on at the moment. I find that when I set too many I get bogged down in the sheer number and lose my motivation too quickly; hopefully this is a more effective, manageable but life-changing load. This semester I want to improve by learning to jump right in and by finding the balance between being a teacher and being a student.
Jump Right In
I'm just going to go right ahead and acknowledge two irrefutable facts right now: I am a little scared about this semester and I am a terrible procrastinator. This is the semester that I have to actively work on both issues. They are connected in a way: I believe I tend to put certain jobs off because I believe I will be better equipped to handle them at a later time. I'm nervous in the moment so I wait, hoping I will be less nervous or simply forced to act later. I'm down to the wire now though; change has to occur.
With each day I return to my placement, I am building confidence and trying to take on new tasks. Last year I waited until I was comfortable to take on more responsibility; this year I am going to jump right in and scare myself on purpose in order to better develop my skill set. I am going to do as much as I can so I can gain the most experience possible. I am not going to wait around because I am worried about failure; I will accept that not everything can and will be perfect and I will not put off tasks I could handle in the moment. I am going to just keep swimming.
This goal ties in with the most striking advice I remember from the kick-off meeting: one of the cooperating teachers said that you should respect your mentor this year without bending your style to duplicate anyone else's. I have been accused of having a wild independent streak but I have, in truth, always felt that I tend to pattern my own plans based on the examples of others more than might be wise. My mentor teacher this semester is excellent: he's in the Kansas Teacher Hall of Fame and has earned his respected position while retaining his robust sense of humor and a fairly relaxed and marvelously engaging classroom environment. A joke or two he makes each class will fall flat but most are greatly appreciated by the young adults in the room and I was certainly encouraged to see that comedy does have a place in the modern and effective classroom. I want to have a similar classroom, if I am honest: however, essentially what I need is to be able to have similar results with different, unique and personal methods.
I have already found myself pondering how I could use some of his very specific assignments in my future classroom a time or two this week and while I would not say that it has reached the point of being completely negative yet it is an aspect of my practicum experience that I plan on reflecting on often. I do not want to try to emulate anyone to the point of restricting my own personality and ideas!
Thus I am making it a priority to make a Google document: I want to make note of interesting ideas and work on discovering and creating unique teaching methods. Essentially, I plan on having three major sections; one for ideas that I formulate entirely on my own, one from lessons I've seen that I would like to take foundations from and tweak, and one for ideas and classroom procedures that I would basically use as they were imagined by another person. The original ideas section will be the largest and I will try to build into my schedule weekly time during which I can add to it. I plan on being quite strict with myself when it comes to the ideas I take from another source. I am not going to let myself be a poor imitation of a great educator; I am working to be a great educator in my own right. It will likely take many years to get there; I am ready to tackles the obstacles though! Bring on the year!
